Reservist- Patched.

Went to reservist 26oct-6 nov, couldn't siam, my $400 downgrade letter only got me to excuse running. i hated the camp , hated the system. my bunk was on the 5th floor and everytime i climb thoses steps i felt like my heart's going to burst. i'm seriously out of condition and i am so weak. Had Range 3 for 4 days. keep missing , walking in the mud in my boots kills my feet. i lay down in my bed at night trying to sleep with a perpentual pain in my heel. with the voice of my love by my ears.

My love, i still love her i know we cannot stay together but i wanted to try anyway, we have been through so much together and yet so little.

16th May 99 Met her for the 1st time at pasir ris MRT, she was looking so sweet and dainty in this peach color dress.

18th May 99 we were together.

Aug 99? she shifted to my house

Sep 2002 She left UK for studies

9 apr 2003 She announced she love someone else, someone whom she never met in flesh 4 years of memories did not stop her. funny , it seem to hurt her more then it did to me.

oct 03 she came back to SG and back into my waiting arms

feb 04 after months of ducking around in my own room due to the fact she cannot let HIM see anyone else in the room while they were having web conferencing. she had her own room to use the PC and we agreed to be just friends and she moved out to tampines ,but i cannot help it, like moth drawn to the fire, i know i will be burnt by her yet i cannot stop myself , everytime i see her, i am drawn to her, to hold her and care for her. make her worries mine.

Oct 04 She wants to patch, i stupidly question her why, after a week of headache i agreed, loving is easy, living together is so hard. i thought since she was willing to change and it was the 1st time i ever hear her beg. how wrong i was to accept. went into reservist after that.

1st week end of reservist, we met up together and she came to my house to stay. and that moment was cut short on sunday night when i had to go back to camp just like BMT.

2nd week was HELL.
1st day arrive at site, became banglah worker and started filling sandbags, my body hurt badly from the heat and the part i had an operation done on in feb hurt me badly. like some sort of muscle cramp inside the body. lucky the medic and sergent look after me , i dunno what would have happened anyway, i was on light duty for the whole week, yet i had to keep filling sandbags
carry sandbags and shoveling sand without sleep.
next few days passed in a blur, was just sleeping waking up filling sandbag, hiding from the thunderstorms.
4th day night exercise. after that no sleep till morning. i fell asleep while standing in the parade and was rewarding with a sore head and damaged kneels. i woke up at the side of the parade sq on some grass. could not remember how i got there. then we started carrying stuff and clearing stuff, stayed in the jungle till 8pm. truck got lost some where i think.

sat more logistics , and went home at late night.
she was suppose to come over but she refused, ask her go out , also dun wan. end up meeting a old friend for late night supper.

Next day suppose to meet her at 6. but i woke up at 6 and was late. we went shopping and had ice cream at swesen and there she dumped me.
Again.
Out of the blue.
i was in a state of shock.
I rememeber giving her my jacket, that it will take care of her when i am not around. my brand new East india company jacket..

I feel so hopeless so frustrated and depressed.

back to Berkelah waterfalls, A journey back in time to a place i love in my teens. I have forgotten as with everything else the feel of the place. the little details and shortcuts that i use to know. hence frequent back track and waste of energy. my fellow trekkers are wonderful, no complains and game for anything, despite the frequent falls and nasty cuts and brusies. i reall admire the courage of these girls, They fell and fell but still carried on without complain or whining, the helpful hands of all the guys around might have contributed to that. The view from the base camp is breathtaking, framed by the sloping sides of the mountain the view stretches out for miles and miles and you can see the lush green land to far far away... below the camp a nature health spa awaits, little swimming pools and jaccuzzis, whirpools to sit in, standing under the waterfall feeling the soothing pressure of the water caressing my back with cold shocks through body pleasantly. its fun to hop from rock to rock like a frog on lily pads. The trip up to main waterfall was tough, walking barefooted for better grip on hot stones, we traveled on shiny multi-color rock surface, bash into the jungle, climb up almost vertical slopes with roots that curls and look like natural ladders. A lot of ladies slipped or fell at the rocks, am bravely continued despite the pain. U can see people losing faith in their feet , preferring to crawl on fours or slide on their butts. The Main fall was majestic, with water plunging down from above 30m? i have poor sense of judgement, into a olympic size pool at the bottom, it was deep enough to jump into and nice place to sit at. The weather was cooling with occasion raindrops bringing relief to my scorched skin. We reached base camp when it was dark, cooked dinner over stove and ate, as usual there was too much food :) .next day went down and waited for bus, there was new open air shower point near the bottom! cleaned up and went home...